Hey y’all! Just wanted to pop in and say a great big hugged hello to you!
I recently learned something about myself that I’d like to share.
About 6 weeks ago I looked into the faces of about 250 women and shared my story of grace at our annual women’s conference at my church. After I shared I felt an extraordinary sense of freedom that I’ve never felt before. Jesus enlightened me about so many things and I’ll share those things in the weeks to come.. but he just spoke to me on SO many different levels. I thought I was already whole. I thought I was already healed. Umm…what I get for thinkin’! Can I just say- stories bring healing and hope for both the story-listener as well as the story-teller.
One of the ways He enlightened me was about this blog. Any one that knows me knows that I like to be real. I mean how many times have I told you this? Just give it to me real, folks. It’s my motto. What I learned though is that one of the reasons I stopped blogging is because I felt that there was a huge part of myself that I couldn’t share. Over the last several years my life has made such a transformation. It’s such a miracle…and such a huge part of who I am today, and because I wasn’t at a place to share, I felt I couldn’t be real with you. Does that make sense? I guess I felt like I was being dishonest, in some respect because I was holding such a huge part of my life back.
So. I have a story.
A story that needs to be told. A story that YOU need to hear.
One filled with heartbreak and love and redemption and disappointment and restoration and tears and sadness and hope and bravery and courage and strength and I could go on and on with all kinds of ands…but mainly it’s filled with Jesus. Only JESUS could do what He did!
It is a story that had to be bathed in prayer before I shared. The finger wrinkled, water-logged, skin scrubbed, water dirtied kind of bathed. A story that could only be told if every teeny tiny detail was in place and perfect including the support of my family. Jesus had -I mean, and let’s just put had in all caps- he HAD to be at the very center.
So, I felt like I wasn’t quite ready and that it was not his timing to share
my His story here so therefore I felt I was being a fake. I felt I was having to hold back on some of the things I so desperately wanted to write. Honestly I was kinda mad at God because I wanted to write them so badly but I knew it wasn’t his timing.
Geezzz God. I mean come on. Patience isn’t my best trait.
But He knew. He knew all along. Our God..he just knows.
HE ALWAYS KNOWS. (when will we get that??)
So glad he loves me as I am! I’m one of his high-maintenance girls. You know, the ones that kind of nag a little..ask for random things and can literally blab about nothing?? This year I’ve spent nagging him A LOT. Pretty certain He spends most of his time shaking his head at me.
But I’M SO GRATEFUL y’all. I praise him everyday for his perfect timing.
So, all that to say- it’s why I stopped and I’m so grateful for Jesus’ enlightenment about this because honestly I was starting to feel like a major blog fail! The last several months I’ve received a clarity like never before on many different things. A major weight has been lifted. God was perfecting and performing in me. He still is and I pray he always will, but we’re one step closer.
And I’ll be back SOON(seriously how many times have I said that??-insert awkward emoji here). And it will be consistently. (I’m sure I’ve said that too). And I will write my story down for you. I’ve got plans. Jesus inspired plans . And sometimes I just start sentences with the word And.
It’s my blog.
And guess what? I’ve got new blog name, look and design coming to the blogosphere very soon. I hope you like it. Say you do even if you don’t. They’ll be some things that are different. I’ll still write about style and beauty some, but it definitely won’t be the focus. So stay tuned!
We’ll have a party! A blog re-launch party! and YOU’LL be invited! You CAN sit with us! (me..and Jesus!) Seriously I love parties! Parties and presents and thingy’s and such..they have my heart..they really do! They’ll be all of that!
Exclamation overload = extreme excitement.
Love you bunches!