Brokenness: Where Fierce Begins | {Fiercely His #5}

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I’m excited to introduce you to my friend Terri. I met Terri 3 months ago at a retreat. She’s one of the sweetest and most caring person I’ve ever met and I’m so blessed that she is in my life. Her words speak life and move deeply. Prepare to be touched!

If you have not dealt with a painful past, it WILL deal with you. Brokeness is where fierce begins.

Brokenness is Where Fierce Begins

When we were little there were toys called Weebles. The jingle from the television commercial was “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down!” It’s true. They are made with a heavy ball inside at the base. The center of the mass is always near the bottom and the force of gravity pulls it back up.  If you pushed it down and released your finger, you would see it pop back up, wobbling back and forth.

One of my brothers often called me Weeble because he thought nothing could keep me down. I have failed to live up to that childhood nickname.

I’ve fallen many times, sometimes flat on my face with the wind knocked out of me.

There was a time in my young adult life when an unhealthy relationship blindsided me. There were elements in my life that created a perfect storm for impending disaster, both external and internal. My initial gut reaction was a prickle of distrust but I didn’t heed the warning.

I would have been wise to pay attention.

Loneliness is a powerful current and I was not anchored as tightly to the only One who would keep me from crashing. It was a costly mistake. But it was a season where God’s healing light came in through the wounds and redeemed my soul.

Let me stop right here.

If this is your tiny whisper in your gut about a new person in your life ask God to open your eyes so wide that you cannot deny what the spirit inside you may be saying amidst the pain, noise, loneliness or busyness in your life.

I can’t blame anyone for not listening to what I now know was a warning.  For me, it was a blip in thought that got buried by my own foolishness.

It seems I was anesthetized by a vapor I didn’t smell or see.

Seeds were sown but they were not from God. Their roots grew into the tangled roots of my past that I hadn’t worked through. Take this with love and as a warning:

If you have not dealt with a painful past, it will deal with you.

The things planted in your past go deep and often become strongholds. They are not erased when you get married, have children, get a degree or go to church.If you have not dealt with a painful past, it will deal with you. @Fullerton51T #fiercelyHis Click To TweetThey will emerge in your relationships no matter how hard you try to make it work or how hard you strive for the things you’ve always wanted.  You may feel that you don’t want anyone’s help. You may tell yourself you have to hold it together and handle it on your own. I get it. But it’s like driving on black ice at night.

It’s in the brokenness where He plants seeds to be fierce. When we see how weak we are, we have the opportunity to grab hold of the One who is strong.

It wasn’t long before I woke up in the midst of a train wreck. I shook my head and wondered how in the world I got there. How did this go so wrong so quickly? Initially, I was numb and confused. My distrust of people skyrocketed, along with a new revelation.

I didn’t trust myself either.

I withdrew internally. I went to counseling. I went through the Psalms and wrote out every verse that revealed something about God.

I didn’t rush through it because growing new roots takes time.

But it was worth it.

I wish I could say I bounced back quickly like a Weeble. I was broken in ways I didn’t even know I could be broken. I didn’t know how I would ever get up. But there is a God who longs to help us get back up.There is a God who longs to help us get back up. #brokenness #fiercelyHis @Fullerton51T Click To Tweet

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18 (NIV)
The depth of your pain and grief call out to the heart of God in a holy mystery. No one can help you like God and there are times you know this with every cell in your soul. You feel the palpable presence of Christ. My simple prayers sobbed from my core. God please help me. I am so sorry. I don’t see a way through this. Do whatever you need to do in me. Help me to do whatever I need to do to grow.

Maybe it’s in the brokenness where He plants seeds to be fierce.

Brokenness is where God plants seeds to be fierce. #fiercelyHis @Fullerton51T Click To Tweet

Maybe this is where God sows seeds for:

strength,
resolve,
wisdom,
compassion,
and forgiveness.

It’s in the brokenness where He plants seeds to be fierce. When we see how weak we are, we have the opportunity to grab hold of the One who is strong.

It’s where He nourishes us with understanding of our true identity. He reveals the depth and width and height of His love. When we see how weak we are, we have the opportunity to grab hold of the One who is strong.

The prayer that has been a thread since then is Lord, empty me of me and fill me with you. 

Being a fierce woman of God is a fruit that grows, as we abide in Christ. It is nourished by the teachings of His Word. We can trust Him to plant us by streams of living water. We will bear fruit, even if we started in broken places, and it’s to our Father’s glory.

Terri is a fighter. #fiercelyHis

Terri Fullerton, Fiercely His

Terri is a wife, mom, Bible study teacher and mentor.  God’s creation and His Word nourish her soul. She loves stories of redemption and things that are funny. She longs to encourage others to find hope and freedom.  She is a freelance writer, has a blog and is working on her first book. She is contributing writer at The Glorious Table. She shares posts at Life Letter Cafe and has also written for The Huffington Post.

Connect with Terri on    TWITTER      INSTAGRAM      PINTEREST

I love hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hey!’ and share your thoughts below. Is there something I can pray with you about? Please let me know and I’ll pray!

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  1. KOURTNEY says:

    I love this. Brokenness is where fierce begins… so true.. I agree on it being a process. I also think that if one does not know or understand what to do with the brokenness when the light finally comes it’s hard to recognize it. God Bless you ladies that offer guidance to the broken so they may know where that light comes from as well what to do with the broken parts. 💚

    • Shannon says:

      Yes Kourtney. Brokenness is just hard. And you’re so right, sometimes it’s hard to recognize it. It’s the hanging on, the “never letting go” that forces us to rely on Jesus in order to make us strong…to make us “fierce.” Thanks for stopping by today!

  2. RebeccaLynn says:

    Terri this really speaks to my heart. Oh how I have been there! I am still there in many ways. Dealing with trust issues runs deep. I can’t remember where I saw it written recently, but someone posted a verse from the Bible that says something like rebuilding broken trust in a friendship is harder than overtaking a fortified city! That’s a pretty powerful statement. When I read this, my heart kept going back to John 2:23-25 “Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. 24But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew human nature. 25No one needed to tell him what mankind is really like.” Is that the saddest verse ever! My heart breaks. And yet … we can completely understand. We have broken trust … and ours has been broken. We are human. Our trust needs to be in God above all else! That is so hard for us – but I’m learning how essential it is in relationships. Thank you for sharing this! It’s beautiful!

    • Shannon says:

      Rebecca- in all of our weaknesses its so amazing to have a God that just IS. The fact is, mistrust IS normal, and HUMAN. But somehow isn’t it so cool that when we place ALL of our trust in HIM that mistrust sort of fades? This is such a great conversation!

  3. Robin says:

    Brilliant article which I so needed. Very true we always ignore our gut and promptings from our heart. In my circumstances it also came with massive financial impact. Well we just need to move on.

    • Shannon says:

      Robin, yes- why is it that we ignore our gut sometimes? We’ve all reaped consequences of that, though…the important thing is that we learn from them! Learn from them, alter the way we react next time, and yes- move on! Terri gives such hope and wisdom here doesn’t she??

  4. Andrea says:

    growing new roots takes time… yes yes and yes. Terri, my friend, this is amazing. I missed it in our move and lack of internet but this is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt wisdom from your experiences. This is a powerful “me too”. I’m so blessed to get to know such a fierce warrior.

  5. You are a fierce fighter, Terri! And you too, Shannon! So true that if we don’t deal with past pain, it will deal with us. I need myself to remember right now that God is close to the broken-hearted. Thanks for your words.

  6. Elia says:

    My past is very bad came from dysfunctional family. The article is correct about very thing. I pray to Jesus to put people in my path to help me through this struggle because I don’t know the bible that well. My biggest struggle is trust because it has been broken so many times. What is really sad on my mom and dad side of the families. Been like that since I was a child, They don’t want any part with me or my children or grand children. Thank you very much for this article. Puts hope in my heart and most of all with Jesus being by my side.

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