Brokenness is Where Fierce Begins
When we were little there were toys called Weebles. The jingle from the television commercial was “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down!” It’s true. They are made with a heavy ball inside at the base. The center of the mass is always near the bottom and the force of gravity pulls it back up. If you pushed it down and released your finger, you would see it pop back up, wobbling back and forth.
One of my brothers often called me Weeble because he thought nothing could keep me down. I have failed to live up to that childhood nickname.
I’ve fallen many times, sometimes flat on my face with the wind knocked out of me.
There was a time in my young adult life when an unhealthy relationship blindsided me. There were elements in my life that created a perfect storm for impending disaster, both external and internal. My initial gut reaction was a prickle of distrust but I didn’t heed the warning.
I would have been wise to pay attention.
Loneliness is a powerful current and I was not anchored as tightly to the only One who would keep me from crashing. It was a costly mistake. But it was a season where God’s healing light came in through the wounds and redeemed my soul.
Let me stop right here.
If this is your tiny whisper in your gut about a new person in your life ask God to open your eyes so wide that you cannot deny what the spirit inside you may be saying amidst the pain, noise, loneliness or busyness in your life.
I can’t blame anyone for not listening to what I now know was a warning. For me, it was a blip in thought that got buried by my own foolishness.
It seems I was anesthetized by a vapor I didn’t smell or see.
Seeds were sown but they were not from God. Their roots grew into the tangled roots of my past that I hadn’t worked through. Take this with love and as a warning:
If you have not dealt with a painful past, it will deal with you.
The things planted in your past go deep and often become strongholds. They are not erased when you get married, have children, get a degree or go to church.If you have not dealt with a painful past, it will deal with you. @Fullerton51T #fiercelyHis Click To TweetThey will emerge in your relationships no matter how hard you try to make it work or how hard you strive for the things you’ve always wanted. You may feel that you don’t want anyone’s help. You may tell yourself you have to hold it together and handle it on your own. I get it. But it’s like driving on black ice at night.
It wasn’t long before I woke up in the midst of a train wreck. I shook my head and wondered how in the world I got there. How did this go so wrong so quickly? Initially, I was numb and confused. My distrust of people skyrocketed, along with a new revelation.
I didn’t trust myself either.
I withdrew internally. I went to counseling. I went through the Psalms and wrote out every verse that revealed something about God.
I didn’t rush through it because growing new roots takes time.
But it was worth it.
I wish I could say I bounced back quickly like a Weeble. I was broken in ways I didn’t even know I could be broken. I didn’t know how I would ever get up. But there is a God who longs to help us get back up.There is a God who longs to help us get back up. #brokenness #fiercelyHis @Fullerton51T Click To Tweet
Maybe it’s in the brokenness where He plants seeds to be fierce.Brokenness is where God plants seeds to be fierce. #fiercelyHis @Fullerton51T Click To Tweet
Maybe this is where God sows seeds for:
It’s where He nourishes us with understanding of our true identity. He reveals the depth and width and height of His love. When we see how weak we are, we have the opportunity to grab hold of the One who is strong.
The prayer that has been a thread since then is Lord, empty me of me and fill me with you.
Being a fierce woman of God is a fruit that grows, as we abide in Christ. It is nourished by the teachings of His Word. We can trust Him to plant us by streams of living water. We will bear fruit, even if we started in broken places, and it’s to our Father’s glory.
Terri is a fighter. #fiercelyHis
Terri is a wife, mom, Bible study teacher and mentor. God’s creation and His Word nourish her soul. She loves stories of redemption and things that are funny. She longs to encourage others to find hope and freedom. She is a freelance writer, has a blog and is working on her first book. She is contributing writer at The Glorious Table. She shares posts at Life Letter Cafe and has also written for The Huffington Post.
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