Pain to Promise
I remember the day that Jesus invaded my life so well.
I came home from school instead of going to my Mom’s nail salon. She worked 14 hours a day in order to put food on the table for the four of us. She was on her 5th marriage to a man who was a mirror to her. She treated all the men before, the way he was treating her now; manipulative and mean. And it was a wake-up call for her about who she had become.
My mom drank to go to sleep and she drank to wake up. She kept a little pink glass at her nail station at all times that was full of Wild Turkey or Tequila.
When I got home from school one day the phone rang. It was one of my Mom’s clients. She was super anxious and asked if I had gone to see my Mom at her shop; which I told her, no. She urged me to head to her shop because she had received an alarming call from my mom saying, “goodbye.”
When I got there, the doors were locked. This was rare, because my Mom always said, “we can’t make money if my doors are shut.” She was always working.
I peaked through the huge glass window in the front. She wasn’t at her desk. All I could see was a note. The words written on that little note were devastating.
I’m so sorry that I’m not enough for you. I can’t seem to make you happy.
Kids, I love you so much. Please forgive me.
I took a step back from the glass window and thought to myself, “What is going on? My mom does not give up?!”
The police arrived and busted the door open. I rushed in front of the officer, not knowing what I was going to find. I was screaming and crying so hard with a mixture of emotions from hurt to anger. When I found her she was sitting cross-legged; beside her an almost empty bottle of Wild Turkey and a gun. She was conscious, but because of all she drank she was totally unaware.
My mom’s pain had taken her to the rock bottom and I felt like I was right there with her.
The ambulance came and took her to the psychiatric ward while I stayed behind to close up her shop.
God stepped into the cold psychiatric ward that night. A doctor came in, rolled up in his chair knee to knee with my intoxicated Mom and gave her hope. He said, “You know I don’t think you are a bad lady at all. I don’t think you want to hurt yourself. I think you need hope. Do you have a church or a Bible?”
This changed the course of all our lives.
Just hours later they released her. She met a Pastor who gave her a bible in the middle of a parking lot and prayed with her.
I was at my Grandparents for a couple of weeks because I wasn’t sure I wanted to come home. When I did, my Mom greeted me with a hug at the door. We sat down and she told me how she wanted to read the Bible and go to church. I love my mom and was always so close with her. I laid on her shoulder and just cried. She had a hope that I wanted and I could see change in her eyes. Something was so different!
These next few months my mom devoured the word of God. She began to transform right before our very eyes. My life has never been the same.
Oh, we tried to find the Doctor from the Psychiatric ward years later and there was no record of him having ever worked there. We think he was our angel!
My Mom’s transformation was radical. She quit drinking almost immediately and began to pray for each of her kids.
When I caught hold of hope in Jesus, I never looked back. I went to Bible school and met my husband Aaron. We have been in ministry almost 17 years together. 15 of those years I spent reaching students in Lawton, and Tulsa, Ok. Working with students was an honor for me because I got to give them hope; which is something I never had.
Jeanne Mayo, a mentor of mine says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.-Jeannie Mayo #fierceFriday Click To Tweet
The students that we spent years reaching only wanted to be loved, seen and heard. God was the one who changed their behavior. Our goal was to just love consistently. I think of serving the local church as my opportunity and not my obligation. I know the desperation of extreme hopelessness and my mandate is to make my pain pay me back through the investment of others. I want to see those that are lost, found; just as I was.
I pray that no matter how hard your road is or has been that you would know and understand your value. Value is not something we are all born with. It is invested and sought after and most of all it’s placed.
Your greatest tool to fight in life could very well be your JOY!
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Psalm 139:13 (NLT)
The Lord is my strength and my song; He has given me victory. Psalm 118:14
Regan is a fighter and she is #fiercelyHis
Regan serves alongside her husband at Hope Fellowship, in Frisco Tx. She has three kids; Jaxon, Jada, and Ivy. She enjoys serving the church in every way. Regan loves to share her story and gift of comedy to bring encouragement and make people laugh. She wants to give people the permission to relax and not take everything so serious.
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