How Being a Mom Has Drained Me

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Mom-ing can be very draining, and sometimes we're drained until there's nothing left. Things like impatience, hate, bitterness...being a Mom has drained me of those things and I'm grateful!

It’s true, being a Mom has drained me. You get it. We give and give and give.

There were days when mine were younger that I didn’t even want to get out of bed. It wasn’t that I didn’t love them; it was just that I had no energy to give. Watching one more episode of Teletubbies made me want to scream. Making sure they had breakfast and homework finished seemed like torture. I couldn’t fathom the responsibility one more day of making sure that every need was met.

We’re Moms, and we give.

So we give. And then we give some more. Some days we give until there’s nothing left.

Mothering is draining. But the thing is, it’s totally worth every ounce drained and every single given.

Let’s be honest. No one really and truly sees all we do for our children except us, right Momma? But, oh, my heart. What I wouldn’t do for my girls. No doubt you feel the same.

Cheerleader hair.

One day when Alex was in the 8th grade she came home and informed us that she was going to be a cheerleader. The junior varsity team was in jeopardy of being dismantled because there weren’t enough girls on the team. So, her friend asked if she would consider joining the team. It meant that Alex wouldn’t have to officially try out.

Alex was a very anxious child. There were days that she would call me from the school bathroom stall in tears. I would stay on the phone with her and coach her to breathe. So, the fact that she even agreed to join the cheer squad was a blessing that no one except her and me will ever even begin to understand. I’m not sure her friend will ever know what she did for Alex that day.

I’ll never forget her first game. She wanted me to help with her hair. Oh, the “cheerleader hair.” I mean it’s a thing, cheerleader hair. (And all the cheerleader Mom’s respond with a resounding, “Amen.”) It should be trademarked and sold, seriously.  I spent at least 45 minutes helping her make sure every hair was in place.

Every. Single. Hair.

At war with my daughter’s hair.

If one piece of hair was out of place, well, it would just have to be fixed. There was no consoling, reasoning or trying to help her understand it looked beautiful the way it was. It had to be fixed. So, as frustrating as it was, (there was dinner to be finished and clutter to be picked up; I had things to do, people) and as much as I wanted to scream and walk out of the room, I took a deep breath, strapped on my body armor and helmet and did whatever needed to be done in order to make her happy.

We were already running late..because, you know, the #cheerleaderhair. We scrambled out to the garage to get into my car. Alex opened her door first and immediately closed it. “I’m not going in this car,” she exclaimed.

What? I opened the driver’s door and the stench about knocked me down. The stench of spilled soured milk from the day before.

“GET IN THE CAR!” And she just stood there with her arms crossed, one foot tapping the floor. So much for the helmet and body armor.

At war with my daughter, or..

I was infuriated, and that word doesn’t seem to describe how mad I was. But, it was a battle that I didn’t have time to fight, and it wasn’t worth it. As Mom’s we learned to pick our battles, don’t we? I stomped over to John’s car and off we went. We drove out of the driveway, through the neighborhood and smack dab into the back of someone’s car.

Can you please imagine this day with me?

We drove back home, explained to John what happened and drove the smelly car to the football field. As we drove into the parking lot Alex burst into tears. “I can’t do this, Mom.”  

In my head I wanted to shout, “OH YES YOU ARE, I DIDN’T GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS CRAP TODAY FOR YOU TO GIVE UP NOW!” That’s what I wanted to say. Somehow I mustered up the strength to bite my tongue while I carefully considered what to say next. I stopped the car and put my hand over her’s.

She was anxious. Nervous. Scared. And all of the describing words in between.

Sometimes Mothering is all about understanding, rather than punishing.

Sometimes Mothering is all about understanding, rather than punishing. #MothersDay Click To Tweet

When we got to the game, her hair was perfect. Every hair was in place, while mine looked like a frazzled mess. She looked beautiful while my clothes were wet from sweat.

And this is just what we do for our kids. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Looking back on this day 6 years ago, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the memories. I‘ll admit, raising Alex Elizabeth was certainly no walk in the park. She was a difficult one, that girl. Honestly, I still pick my cuticles to this day. She was a handful. But, in raising her, I learned more than I ever thought possible.

Both my girls are so different and each has brought their own special heartaches upon this Momma’s heart.

Maybe God gives us children to teach us valuable lessons? Because in teaching them, they teach us so much more.

How beautiful is that?

In teaching our children, they, in turn, teach us. #mothersday #fiercelyHis Click To Tweet

To this day, Alex and I have very fond memories of me helping her with her hair. It’s kind of our thing, even though a lot of the time it ended up in a yelling match.

Mom-ing can be very draining, and sometimes we're drained until there's nothing left. Things like impatience, hate, bitterness...being a Mom has drained me of those things and I'm grateful!

Yes, being a mom has drained me.

It has drained me of impatience, ingratitude, hate, bitterness, unforgiveness, and much more and it has filled me with patience, endurance, tolerance, love, long-suffering, gentleness, kindness, and peace.

I owe much to these littles of mine. I’m a better person today in part because of my girls. The really cool part is that they’re still growing.

And I’ve still got much to learn.

My girls are the best gifts I’ve ever been given. Being called Mom specifically by those two is an absolute privilege.

Children are truly the best gift we've been given! #MothersDay Click To Tweet

Today, my Alex is wise, understanding and kind.  I don’t know if I could be more proud of who she is.

Chin up, Buttercup.

Keep your chin up, Momma. A lot of the things we do will never be seen. The tears wept, the hours worried, the deeds sewn. No one will ever see how all of these things impact our hearts. No one sees except God, and He’s all that really matters.

The things you do matter. Everything your little one does to drain you will be given back a thousandfold.

What you learn from being a Mom will be worth every single ounce drained.

What you learn from being a Mom will be worth every single ounce drained. #MothersDay Click To Tweet

Happy Mother’s Day, Friend!

 

  1. Beautiful post! Thank you so much!!
    I am learning and growing so much through motherhood and I am so very thankful to my Father for this!!!

    Blessings!

  2. Oh my goodness. This has been me on so many occasions (just minus the cheerleading). Frazzled mess of a Mom can about sum it up as a description of me more times I’d like to admit. Oh but God…He can make those difficult moments gleam with hope and at the end of the day I can thank Him that He alone got me through. I always love how transparent your posts are Shannon! Hugging you as a fellow frazzled Mommy! Happy Mother’s Day friend!

    • Shannon says:

      I seriously was frazzled for most of Alex’s high school years; but you’re so right- He makes those frazzled moments gleam with hope! We’re so blessed:-)

  3. What a great challenge for mums! And I will confess that I truly needed draining — sorta like that vocal politician and his promises to “drain the swamp.” My heart has very swampish tendencies even after 23 years of mothering, so I’m thankful for the continual “drain” that my kids (and now grandkids) provide.

  4. Joanne Viola says:

    I so enjoyed this post. I have so often said that in growing my children up, God grew me up 🙂 It is amazing how He uses our kids to grow us up in Him.

  5. We grow as much as they do through the process of maturing! I pray that my heart is always willing to be molded and shaped by the relationships in my life, in parenting, in marriage, in friendship, it’s all a part of transformation when we are willing. Visiting from #momentsofhope today 🙂

  6. […] of why we do all we do for our children. The beautiful chaos. The frazzled mom journey. All of it. Shannon Geurin is a dear friend and fierce Mama! Her post will encourage that frazzled Mama heart of […]

  7. julie says:

    Frazzled here most days;) I love how you wrote they drained you of all the bad virtues and exchanged them for good ones. I really like that thought!
    Visiting from #MomentsofHop

  8. Leah says:

    As a new mom, this was very eye opening—the phrase “no one will ever see it BUT GOD.” I had not thought of that before! Thank you for sharing!

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