Never let go & the 50 pound heart

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My heart has been heavy lately and I can’t quite put my finger on why. I cherish my mornings so much. I am a true morning person. I wake up most mornings around 5:30. 6:00 at the latest. I love it when my house is completely silent and my husband and 2 girls are peacefully sleeping. It is the time when I pray, read my bible and just think. Lately, I have found myself weeping during these times.

I don’t know why.

This is what I do know and thank you for allowing me to share this with you. Every single day I have to pray and seek His face in order to have faith and believe that I have been forgiven for my past failures. I literally don’t know how people make it through life without knowing the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. I am SO not perfect. Satan has his target on me and knows my weaknesses better than I do. If I let too many days go by without spending time with My Lord I end up drowning in a sea of misery. He has literally made it to where I can not make it without Him. He’s a smartie that Jesus of mine.

There are also times when I am so completely overwhelmed by Jesus’ love for me that I literally weep and weep. Why do I weep? Hey- I’m asking YOU that question. Why? Can you please tell me because I think I know but I’m not sure? I have been literally in my car driving while my two beauties are in the backseat and I just start weeping uncontrollably. The first time they just sat there wide-eyed thinking their Mom had lost it. Hey I myself thought I had lost it. It’s pretty comical looking back on their cute faces. Now they probably just say to themselves, “there she goes again.” The first time this happened I tried to explain to them how Jesus’ love for us is so overwhelming. Like, he loves us and cherishes us so much! I didn’t really know how to explain it. I don’t know if they understood but I have a feeling they did. Actions speak louder than words you guys.

Back to my 50 pound heart – It seems there are relationship struggles all around me. Like, literally all around me. It makes me sad. It makes me depressed. Friendships gone sour. Failed marriages. Work relationships destroyed. I mean WHY. Why God??

I am trying to figure out what God is trying to teach me though all of this because let me tell you this 50 pound heart is WIDE AND OPEN to whatever it is He is teaching me.

John and I went through a really rough patch several years ago that almost destroyed both of us. I don’t think you understand. We were almost LITERALLY destroyed. Today we are walking miracles. Literally. Couples just don’t survive what we survived. But ya know what? We did. We survived. We had to crawl in the dark to realize what it is to stand in the sun and by God we stinking survived.

And you can too. It will be hard as hell, but you CAN survive. YOU CAN!

I thought I’d share some of the pictures of our journey together:

Never let go Never let go2

See those eyes? They are love personified. True, deep love. Love that never lets go. Love that forgives and cherishes. Love that is selfless and merciful. I find it so hard to explain the love behind those eyes.

Can I just tell you this?- NEVER LET GO. What ever it may be that you feel slipping away from you- don’t let it go! It is true that some things in life we have to let go of in order for us to move forward. However, there are other things that are WORTH holding on to. Marriage. Family. Dreams. Friends.

Speaking of never letting go- did you know that Jesus NEVER let’s go of us? We let go of Him. His hand is ALWAYS there reaching out for us all we need to do is grab it.

I’m not sure what to do with the 50 pound heart except pray, wait and trust God, love my family and enjoy life. Those are the things I seem to do the best anyway!

So as I end this post I think we can comically agree on 2 basic things:

1)- It’s Labor Day

2)- The word of the day is “literal” or any form of the word “literal,” i.e. literally.

Have the best Labor Day ya’ll and know that I truly love each and every one of you! I know someone needed this post today and I would love it if you told me so through commenting or emailing me at shannongeurin1 at gmail.com.  As you know, this always makes me giddy.

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link up:

clairejustineoxox

whatjoyismine

thebeautyinhisgrip

lifeoffaithblog

Women of Worship

  1. Bev says:

    Shannon, it was for me, but I wasn’t the only one. You reach a lot of people that you may never recognize because they may not reply… but you’re obeying and it’s His will that you continue to share.

    Your blog is so cute and sweet and personable… it takes me back to the days when you were a new mom, and we spent a lot of time together. You’ve grown so much since those days, but you still have that same heart that seeks God and encourages others. Thanks for sharing from that heart, and God bless you and your beautiful family! Love you, girl!

  2. Kathy says:

    Shannon,
    The bigger the heart, the more the tears and also the bigger the joys! Better a big, crying, slobbering, heart than a small, cold never feel anything heart. 🙂 Love your heart dear one.

  3. Anna S. says:

    Good words this morning, Shannon 🙂 Love what you said about having to crawl in the dark to realize what it is to stand in the sun – so very true! Life can be very hard, it is so much easier with Jesus.

  4. Sarah Pence says:

    I understand the weeping. The only way I’ve been able to describe it is that as I think about who God is, (his grace, his deep compassion, his never failing love and on and on it goes) who I know I was, and who He says I am and who he’s making me to be, and really just the absurdity of it all, I’m so FULL of… I don’t even know. It’s more than emotions, it’s deeper. But I’m so full that it overflows out of me in the form of tears. I think it’s what Paul talked about in Ephesians 3:16-19 when he prayed that the Ephesians would be able to grasp the Lord’s love that surpasses knowledge – that they may be “filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” That’s me anyway. 🙂

    Also, your post brought this song to mind. It’s one of my favorites. 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOzUG4dfzsQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

  5. Awwwww this is such a great post….one that is so heartfelt and well thought of! More power & God bless your journey Shannon!!!!

    Rebecca
    http://www.redtagchiclosangeles.com
    Red Tag Chic Los Angeles recently posted…Swimsuits DirectMy Profile

  6. Jill says:

    What an inspirational post! Thank you for sharing this and the reminder that you have to hold on to what is important!

    Jill
    dousedinpink.blogspot.com
    Jill recently posted…Heart Wreath TopiaryMy Profile

  7. Amy Jung says:

    Well I linked up next to you at Beauty in His Grip. What a sweet note to your readers today! We all need to be reminded of our most important love in life…Jesus. We should all be moved to tears daily. You’re in touch with the reality of who you are in Christ and who He is. You’re also in touch with the reality of living in this heavy world and the beauty and evil in it all rolled into one. We would all do well to have heavy 50 lb hearts! You’re super-aware…what a special season of feeling the love of Christ and your love for Christ!
    Amy Jung recently posted…Moving From “Yeah, But…” to “But Now”My Profile

    • Shannon says:

      I try to be as aware as I possibly can be if that even make sense Amy! Thanks so much for your words and for stopping by!
      xoShannon

  8. Amy Ann says:

    Great share Shannon. I too see myself acting differently and making decisions I don’t like after too much time without Him. It’s almost (almost) comical. His grace is amazing. I am a weeper too. Sometimes it just happens. It like our spontaneous reaction to how good he is. I imagine he likes it. 🙂 Fun to see pictures and know more of your story.

    xo, Amy Ann
    The Real Arnolds

  9. Joan says:

    Hi Shannon!

    I’m a morning person, too. I love the stillness of early morning and watching the world come alive! Weeping? Well, yes, I do that, too! Sometimes the emotions of life overwhelm me. My tears aren’t always from sadness. In fact, quite often they are simply because of being aware of God’s greatness. It’s as if the Holy Spirit gets a hold of my heart and gives it a nice squeeze! Sometimes, though, emotions can be difficult. But, I would much rather have them than be stoic and unfeeling. So, go ahead and weep! 🙂 I think it is a true gift to be able to feel like that.

    Blessings, Joan

  10. Priscila says:

    Same thing happens to me! If I stay some days without spending time in prayer and reading His word i feel miserable and nothing seems to work right in my life. I considered a privilege to feel that depence of God and a wake up alarm to keep walking close to Him. Have you read Streams in dessert devotional by LB Cowman? It’s a must have book for all christians going thru a difficult time.it has comforted me a lot during tough trials. God bless you. Priscila. Unfadingbeautyblog.com

    • Shannon says:

      I’ve never read it Priscila- but thank you for the recommendation! And thanks for stopping by!
      xoShannon

  11. Lovely post 🙂 I love waking up in the morning when all my children are sleeping and its so quiet everywhere..

    Beautiful pictures of you both 🙂
    Clairejustine recently posted…The B&W Photography Project…My Profile

    • Shannon says:

      Hello there Claire! So glad you stopped by and thanks for the follows:-)
      Thank you for your sweet compliments!
      xo

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