How I Learned to Fiercely Trust During a Time of Doubt {Fierce Friday}

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I’m so excted to have Natalie as a guest today! I know you’ll fall in love with her just as I did several months ago. Natalie has such wisdom and I’m honored to know her! Her Momma’s heart in this story shines through. Enjoy!

Thanksgiving of 2016 is one that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.  It’s the day that our “normal” was forever changed…

Life Altered.

I remember that as I sat next to my son in the dark, all I could hear was the bleep of the heart monitor.  The overwhelming concern I felt was sending chills down my spine.  My nineteen year old son Alex lay sleeping in the hospital bed with his body in a weakened and fragile state.

I watched as he breathed in and out, wondering how did we get here?  How was it that my son (who was young and healthy) ended up in the Intensive Care Unit on Thanksgiving Day? 

Was he going to pull through?

I prayed.  I prayed hard about the unknown that was set before us.

The Diagnosis.

My son was suffering from Ketoacidosis which causes the body to accumulate keto acids in the blood.  It was something that could have been fatal had we not taken him to the Emergency Room.  As the lab results started coming in Alex was officially diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic.

This floored me.

First off, I had no idea what the difference between a Type 1 and Type 2 diabetic was.  I was under the preconceived notion that they were both conditions that occurred when someone was consuming too much sugar.

Not true.

I was informed that my son had a pancreas that produced either very little or no insulin at all.  He was now going to be insulin dependent for the rest of his life.  I slowly began to realize that his life was no longer in danger, but that this wasn’t something that was just going to go away. 

He was receiving a life sentence. 

I was assured that this would be the first of many visits to the ICU and that blindness and limb amputation were a reality he’d might one day have to face.

As I sat going over the flood of information I was receiving, my flesh wanted to cry out and ask God why He had added this onto my already toppling pile of burdens.

My heart already knew why. 

All this was actually an answer to my prayers.

A Hard Year.

2016 had been a particularly rough year.  It seemed almost like our family had been getting hit from the right and the left.  Our children had been giving us a hard time by testing their boundaries and doing what teenagers do.

Us being slammed with a hospital visit on a holiday fit right in with the vibe of recent circumstances.

The most challenging of my two kids throughout the year had definitely been my son.  The nicest way I could put the amount of pain and destruction he was causing is by comparing him to the prodigal son.

I had been spending countless days and night in prayer that my son would give his heart to Jesus.  That he would live a life for Him and stop buying into the lie that this world has something more to offer.  The more I prayed, it seemed like the further away he got.

That’s when my prayers turned desperate and tearful.

“Give him a wake up call God.  Make him live a life for you and realize that there is nothing else out there that compares to you.  Rattle him Lord.  I pray that he no longer gets pleasure from his bad choices but that they actually make him sick.”

God hears our fierce prayers, and answers them as He sees fit.God hears our #fierce prayers! #fiercelyHis #fierce trust @milkandhoneyfth Click To Tweet

His way, not my way.

Jesus and the ICU.

Just like that, Jesus had reminded me how He was in the midst of it all and overwhelming peace flooded my heart.

I felt some guilt, but mostly peace because I knew that God was using this to move my son’s heart toward him.  It was necessary.

My fear of a new medical diagnosis was then trumped by the comfort of an all-knowing God.  His sovereign will took over and I was going to let it. 

Extreme doubt was replaced by fierce trust. 

How I learned to fiercely trust God during a season of extreme doubt.

I was trusting to leave the unknown up to our God whose master plan was bigger than I could even conceive of.

For truly, God loves my son even more than I do.

We prayed healing over my son.  We thanked the Lord for giving Him a chance.  We thanked God for saving his life.  That room in the ICU was flooded with praise.

I found myself being so grateful that we live in a day in age where the medical field is as advanced as it is.  Had this been a hundred years ago, my son wouldn’t have survived.

I thanked God that this happened while my son was still living in my home and was covered under my insurance.

A situation that started off as sinister was turning into a reason for praise!

That is only possible with a God as good as ours.

He is Trustworthy.

I learned that in life’s bleakest moments God still shines through. God's promise of being the Rock we can stand on is there for the taking. @milkandhoneyfth… Click To TweetYet, some of us still choose the shifting sand.  He taught me that I could lean on Him and that He would sustain me during whatever life would throw at me.  Up until then, nothing had been life threatening but He showed me that sooner or later those moments show up for us all.

Who will you trust?

Who can we trust?

Him.

Our Savior Jesus Christ.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. James 1: 2-3

How I learned to fiercely trust God during a season of extreme doubt.Natalie Venegas is a Christian creative and California native that now resides in Las Vegas, NV.  Her passion is community and her heart is for the Lord.  When she isn’t writing for Milk & Honey Faith she can be found spending quality time with her husband Anthony and her two children.  Natalie also serves alongside her Husband in ministry in the hopes of reaching many with the Gospel of Jesus and furthering His Kingdom. You can also connect with Natalie 

https://www.pinterest.com/milkandhoneyfth/

https://twitter.com/milkandhoneyfth

https://www.instagram.com/milkandhoneyfaith/

Natalie is a fighter, and she is #fiercelyHis

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  1. Carmen says:

    This is beautiful! Your such a strong, courageous momma!!

  2. What a beautiful testimony! As I read this, my heart ached with you. When we get to the point of praying those hard prayers for God to do anything to draw our loved ones closer to Him…those are hard times. When you said this, “For truly, God loves my son even more than I do,” it hit home because when I’m anxious over a situation in my life and things feel out of control, I have to remember that God loves me and wants to care of me more than I’m actually worried about the situation. Your title just says it all! Great post Natalie!

  3. Jessica says:

    It takes an extremely strong woman to accept that God has a bigger plan in store and trust him in some of those darker times. I love your testimony on how God can and WILL bring praise from pain. Hallelujah for the King of Kings ❤️

  4. Oh how your transparency moved me! What a difficult situation ♥ You inspired me to pray differently for my child who is facing hard choices right now. Thank you and bless your family

  5. Amen Christa. It has been such a test but I try and remember Abraham and his willingness to sacrifice his son because he trusted God that much. Yet God stopped him just beforehand and spared his son. I trust Him.

  6. Meghan says:

    Natalie wow, thank you for sharing this so openly. God does hear us. It keeps me in awe. Keep sharing, friend. You move hearts by your testimony.

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