To the girl struggling to see her self-worth {FREE DOWNLOAD}


I was voluntarily trapped inside the shame box, hiding and hoping that no one would find me. I was bad, unworthy and unlovable. Being inside the shame box was safe because I wasn’t exposed. When I was exposed, it was torture.

I walked towards the restaurant, every step feeling like I was wading through quick sand. My husband opened the door for me as he always does, but I motioned for him to go ahead of me. Wanting to hide, I walked behind him through the foyer into the crowded and busy restaurant. Immediately I felt heads turning in judgement. I heard voices saying, “She’s the one!”, “Get her out of here!” “I don’t want her near me!” I hung my head in shame wondering why in the world I had agreed to go out to eat. Every deserved dart came at me, threatening to cripple me.

Every where I went I felt the same struggles; walking through Target, strolling the mall, shopping for groceries. Every one there was throwing insults my way; telling me that I was no good; questioning the kind of mother I was; wondering how my husband was still married to me.

Although the shame box was safe, I needed out.

Every day I had to physically force myself to be some kind of normal. I had to physically drag myself out of bed and help my daughters get ready for school. I didn’t have a choice.

Every day I had to fight.

I tried opening my bible but it felt like I was reading a book that was written in a foreign language. I didn’t have the strength to re-learn it and I didn’t feel I was worthy anyway.

That was a long time ago, and I’m happy to say things have changed dramatically for me. Although there are times when shame tries to creep back in, I am happy and whole. I know my worth. I know my value. And I know I am loved.

To the girl struggling to see her self-worth:

I get you girl, and you aren’t alone.

Because of past mistakes or past hurts, you can’t seem to get one foot in front of the other; and when you do, you’re dragging.

Oh how I get you.

I know how it feels to stand in front of the mirror, not being able to put your foundation on because of the tears running down your face.

I know.

Self-worth: The Fight.

Please listen to me: There is something out there that wants to literally destroy you and me. He slivers around inside our heads and shouts profanities at us. He hates us and everything about us. He is fighting to bring us down. And it isn’t a petty little playground fight. This is legit. This is the fight of all fights. 

The fight for your selfworth isnt a petty little playground fight-it's legit, & can destroy… Click To Tweet

Can I be a little (alot) bit bold with you?

How dare we allow this to happen?! Right? How dare we allow something like this to grab hold of us and tell us who we are and who we are not.

I mean, we are daughters of the most high King for goodness sakes!?

We have a heavenly Father who is so in love with us that He gave His Son as a sacrifice so that you and I would never have to feel this way!

God made YOU. He FORMED you while you were in your momma’s belly. (Psalm 139:13-14) You were made in HIS image. So, just knowing this alone means that our worth is not in ourselves but in God, because He made us!

And here lies the issue: knowing it and believing it are two very different things. So, how do we BELIEVE? How do we believe and know that we have worth; that we are worthy?

It’s an every day fight. We have to fight to know and believe it because the devil is going to do everything he can to bring us down. So let’s punch him in the face! Wanna?

He (Satan) is fighting and we MUST FIGHT BACK. Ephesians 6:10-18

Self-worth: The Lies vs The Truth.

I’m sure you’re a great momma and wife, but they aren’t where your worth is found.
Whether you get 123 likes or 4 likes on your latest facebook picture that isn’t where your worth is found.
Whether you’re a teacher, musician or policitian, that’s not where your worth is found.

Your worth is found in Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone. Period.

Self-worth: The Value.

You’re valuable! So valuable that you were worth God sacrificing His only Son. And he may be the only person that will ever really and truly love you unconditionally. Let this truth-bomb soak in; because when it does, it will be the only opinion that really matters.

Jesus Christ is the only person that will ever really love you unconditionally. #selfworth… Click To Tweet

Several weeks ago I offered you a #SheIsFierce Fighter Journal for when you need to fight for your marriage, and this week I’m offering another one!

#SheIsFierce Fighter Journal/Fighting to Know Your Self-worth

In this journal you will find 6 steps to knowing your self-worth with 6 truths and 6 actions steps. And an added bonus with 24 verses for when you need a self-worth boost!

And how can you get this journal??

I’m so glad you asked! It’s easy- just click here!




  1. Malena says:

    Great job on your post! It was very enlightening and hit home. Very good read!

    • Shannon says:

      Thank you!

    • Shannon says:

      Thanks for stopping by today:-)

      • Hello and thank you for this, I too am passionate in serving women to become the change they want to see, I created the Boundless Cup for women to go and be inspired. I believe we as women had to cease to flourish as we once did, I am in support of women rebuilding reinventing and becoming and having an abundant life. I pray for the women of the world to be everything God intended us to be

        warmly, Natisha

  2. Thanks, Shannon–I needed this read, and I believe many others need this read as well. For different reasons, my self-worth has deflated. I’ve had people tell me I didn’t have a voice because of illness-either literally through words or through actions with one doctor physically lifting me up and putting me on his exam table even though I gave him a stuttering “no” beforehand from a mouth that used to speak fluidly. In all of this, I felt like God gave me the word “brave” this year. No matter how many people try to tell us our worthlessness, Christ already has it stated so. Many. Times. How much worth we have in Him. I love the intent of your blog, Shannon, and look forward to seeing you instill in even more women a “Fiercely His” spirit.

    • Shannon says:

      Hi Sarah! I believe that so many women struggle with this. You have such a voice, and you are certainly brave! Thankyou so much for your kind words- they are like water for my soul!

  3. Yes! So thankful that our worth is in Christ! Thank you for the reminder. 😊

  4. dawn says:

    Shannon, you are such a blessing to me. This is a struggle we all deal with, I think. You’re right. Only God can love us unconditionally….and he does! Thank you for this encouragement today.

  5. Keep fighting Shannon and seeing your Jesus-worth.

  6. Melanie Redd says:

    Great words of hope and encouragement!
    Thank you, Shannon!

  7. Yes, knowing and believing it are two different things. I’ve always struggled in this area and I believe low self-worth is what caused me to be afraid to take any risks. I’m so glad to be out of that trap now. I love that you made a journal for fighting for worth!

  8. Shannon – Your words do it to me every time. I love how you put it that way– that the fight is CONSTANT against us, that the enemy doesn’t stop but God’s love and truth is stronger. YES. Once I realized it truly that our thoughts, emotions, actions are all vulnerable and assaulted and we constantly need to make a choice and lean on God, and can’t and DON’T have to do it without him, things changed in my heart.I’m (for the first time in my life) allowing myself to go deep in the word. Like you said, so many times it was another language, I was undeserving, I was too lost, too depressed. But I feel Him growing me. I’m still a baby on my walk but I’m not as lost as I was. Praise God. I’m so proud of you for pursuing this mama and spreading the word and hope. He’s leading you to big things 💛

    • Shannon says:

      Dear Paige- you are a blessing to me. I appreciate your words more than you know! Thankyou for stopping by today and for your encouragement!

  9. Chelsi says:

    Thank you so much for this! I needed to hear this today! My worth is not determined by what others think of me as a mother/ coach! God’s opinion is the only opinion that matters! I am valuable! 💜💜

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