What Do We Do When Our Daughters Hurt?


This is week #2 of the Summer Sizzle Series. As I was reading this article by my dear friend Melanie, tears streamed down my face, because I’ve been there. And if you have girls, I know you can relate.  When my daughters hurt, it’s like a knife in my heart. If I could take all of their pain away I certainly would. Grab your kleenex friends, and get ready to learn some valuable truths that will help you when your daughters hurt!

When our daughters hurt

The tears were free-flowing streaming down her cheeks. Her heart had been broken by the cruelty of a thoughtless person. She was hurting.

I was hurting.

The situation was painful. She’s my daughter – my only girl, and someone had broken her heart. In those quiet moments where we just sat and cried, I began to think about what I should say to her. 

How should I advise her?

What could I do or say to make it less painful?

What did she need to hear most in that moment?

Over the next few minutes, some really sweet words of encouragement came to me as I prayed silently.

I think the Lord gave me these words. I shared them with her, and I will do so again.

(In fact, I texted these very words to her this morning!)

It’s likely you have a daughter who also needs to be encouraged today. Even if they are not going through a heartache or a challenging season, these words still apply.


These are the 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Hear:

5 things our daughters need to hear when they are hurting. @melanieredd Click To Tweet

1.) You are LOVED!

Most of our girls will face times of self-doubt and insecurity.

They will go through stages when the feel clumsy and ugly and unlovable. They will have moments when they don’t even like themselves. 

They need to regularly hear these words from us:

“No matter where you go, what you do, what you don’t do, or what life throws your way, we love you and God loves you.”

“There is NOTHING you can do to change our love for you!

There is also NOTHING you can do to change God’s love for you!

Nothing can separate you from our love or from His love.”

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.

Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

2.) You are LOVELY!

Our girls are torn down, compared, contrasted, nit-picked, and made to feel less than beautiful all the time.

Many of them struggle with doubts about their beauty, body shape, and personality.

They look at images on Social Media and feel inadequate. They look at actresses in magazines and on TV and feel inferior and less than those that they see.

They spend time with their friends and don’t feel as thin or as pretty as their friends.

They need to hear these words from us:

“On the inside and on the outside, you are truly a beautiful person!”

“God has crafted you with such creativity, compassion, and wisdom. 

He has also blessed you with a gorgeous smile and incredible blue eyes.

You are beautiful – just the way you are.”

3.) You are the LORD’S!

There will be moments when our girls will wonder how they are unique and special.

They will ask things like: What is their purpose? Does God have great plans ahead for them?

They need to hear these words from us:

“God specially created you as a one of a kind.”

“You are a designer’s original – the only you on this planet.”

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Psalm:139:14, NLT)

“You have a wonderful LIFE ahead of you!”

“God has amazing plans for your life. You are His!”

“There will be setbacks, roadblocks, and detours, but you will make it through all of these things.” 

4.) You will always be LEARNING valuable lessons – especially in the hard moments of life!

No matter how much we try to protect and shield them from it, life is going to be hard for our girls. In fact, our children may live through very challenging days.

There are no guarantees that our girls will grow up to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

We need to speak the truth to them and let them know that life may be very hard. We also need to tell them that they can grow and learn great lessons from these hard times.

They need to hear these words from us:

“Some days will be challenging, but every single challenge brings you the chance to learn valuable lessons.”

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful!

But afterward, there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” (Hebrews 12:11, NLT)

“Try to enjoy the journey and don’t hurry toward the destination.”

What is the best thing to do when our daughters hurt? Speak TRUTH to them! @melanieredd Click To Tweet

5.) Life is an adventure -meant to be savored, enjoyed, and experienced.

Try to also encourage your girls to dream, live, and explore. Life is full of great moments that they can embrace.

Our girls need to be reminded that life is a great adventure–full of opportunity.

They need to hear these words from us:

“Remember – God promises to be with you every step of the way.”

 “For He, Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5, NKJV)

“There are going to be so many great adventures ahead for you.”

“Try to enjoy them, savor them, embrace them, and live in them.”

“Live your life to the fullest, enjoying these adventures He has for you.”

Our girls need to hear:

You are loved, lovely, and the Lord’s.  You have a wonderful life ahead of you with lessons to be learned all along the way.

Maybe today, you need to share these words with one or all of your girls?

(Even if she is little bitty, she’s not too young to start hearing these truths)!

~ Maybe you need to text your teen girl or college girl and share these words with her?

~ Possibly you even need to call your grown “girl” and tell her these things today?

And, if you are a girl who NEVER got to hear these kinds of words spoken to you, may I bless you in this way: (or even if you did, you can listen in too)

Hear your Heavenly Father speak these words over you today:

  1. You are dearly and unconditionally loved by Me!
  2. You are lovely–absolutely beautiful–to Me!
  3. You belong to Me! You are Mine!
  4. You will ALWAYS be learning, stretching, and growing!
  5. Your life is an adventure! Hang on for the ride.


Melanie is a Christian blogger, Motivational Speaker, Author, and Marketing and Social Media Consultant. She’s married to Randy and mom to two awesome college students. God’s grace never ceases to amaze her.


You can find out more about Melanie & her ministry at www.melanieredd.com.


Do you have daughters? Is there anything you would add? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!

Also, would you do me a favor —if you resonate with this article or it has helped you today— would you share it with someone else? Maybe a friend, coworker, or family member…?

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  1. Melanie Redd says:

    Thanks, Shannon, for sharing my article today!
    I hope that many parents will be encouraged as they seek to lift up and inspire their daughters – especially as they are hurting.
    Sure am blessed by you!

  2. Denise Renae says:

    Thanks Melanie for your words of encouragement. I grew up not hearing any of these confirmations, but truly desire to raise my three girls up speaking these truths into their lives!

    • Shannon says:

      Denise- I’m so glad you see how important it is to speak truth into their little lives, even though you didn’t experience that. Break those generation chains, friend!

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