“What does it mean to be Fiercely His?”
Someone asked me that question the other day and if I were completely honest with you, it stumped me.
It stumped me?
Good grief it’s the tag line to my blog and it stumped me? Any author, writing coach or literary agent would tell you that’s a big no- no. Because ya better know your stuff and what you stand for in the writing world.
Maybe it stumped me because I hadn’t been prepared.
Maybe it stumped me because I’m not quick on my feet when it comes to responding to people sometimes.
Or maybe it stumped me because it is something that I am deeply passionate about.
Have you ever felt so deeply about something that it was hard to put in to words?
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been in a bit of a lull lately. I haven’t had a lot of inspiration to just sit down and write. Maybe it’s because my life is crazy busy and full of all kinda emotions and has been for the last several months; or maybe its something else? I don’t know. For some reason I just don’t have my usual get up and go.
Ya know..I’ve known God all my life. My parents have known God all of their lives. Both of my grandparents were pastors. So, my parents practically raised me in church and there has never been a period or season of my life where I’ve “not” gone. It’s just something I’ve always done. God has always been a part of me.
But that’s not why I’m fiercely His.
You know my story.
It’s packed full of shame and sorrow.
Yet it’s so beautiful.
But how can something so shameful be so beautiful?
How can something that is intended for utter death and destruction turn out to be so beautiful?
There’s only one conclusion that I can come up with.
It’s because of Jesus’ love.
Can I stop for a minute and tell you something? If you don’t see His love, maybe it is because you have lost your focus. Or maybe it is because your eyes have moved..because His love is a constant. It never changes.
I write today out of complete brokenness.
Because I don’t understand and I will never understand.
When I am 90 years old or more and I am on my death bed I still will not understand this love or what He did for me.
Because I am so unworthy.
I am so weak and I am so flawed and as much as a I try and strive for perfection I am deeply flawed.
There is bitterness in my heart.
There is pride in my heart.
There is apathy in my heart.
These are only just a few of the ugly things that reside there.
I mean I need to get it under control and I’m working on it. Is this normal as one who follows Christ? I don’t know, but it’s the authentic truth.
Before you go all judgemental on me, can I gently ask you something?
What do YOU have to work on?
We are all so completely imperfect yet He loves us anyway. What in the world kinda love is that?
He can turn my bitterness into sweetness.
He can turn my pride into humility.
He can turn my apathy into passion.
I won’t go into all of the details with you again, because honestly don’t you tire of hearing it? When John and I were smack dab in the middle of restoring our marriage one of the reasons it was such a difficult season for me personally is because I had lost all of my identity as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and the list goes on. So while I was in the throes of restoring my marriage, I didn’t even know who I was. It was as if life was punching and beating me until I was nothing but a bloody pulp.
I was completely stripped bare.
But this is where I learned how to be completely His.
It’s where I learned how to be fiercely His.
It has nothing to do with my upbringing. I am fiercely His because I have been in the depths of destruction and despair and He saved me.
I would probably be dead and my children would be visiting my grave today if not for Him.
But not only did He save me, He DIED to save me.
That alone friends, is enough.
I am fiercely His because He restored my deeply wounded marriage to complete wholeness and restoration.
I am fiercely His because He restored my relationships with loved ones.
I am fiercely His because He washed me clean of all of my shame and my guilt and made me into a completely new person.
No scientist on earth would ever be able to convince me that there isn’t a God in heaven who sent His Son to die for me because of my mistakes.
So then, what does it mean to be fiercely His?
It means that I am passionate and intense about being a child of God aggressively and intensely.
It means that I fully trust that He will take care of me. He’s got me!
It means that I recognize that I have free will to do whatever I want. We live in such a corrupt world where I can choose to fulfill by selfish desires at any given moment. But instead I choose Him because He chose me. And honestly…it is an honor to be His.
Not only His, but Fiercely His.
It doesn’t mean I am standing on the corner of a busy intersection proclaiming that I am a follower of Christ.
It doesn’t mean that I am knocking at your door waiting for you to answer so that I can share the love of Christ with you.
It doesn’t mean that I will judge you if you do something that I might not agree with.
In fact, maybe this is what it boils down too: Fiercely His means that I recognize I am in no way better than any of you whether you are a believer or not. I can be just as comfortable with one that believes the exact opposite as I can be with one that believes like me. And more than likely I won’t say one word about my beliefs but instead show you in how I treat you.
Maybe it means that I’m just a girl. A girl with two amazing kids and one amazing husband. A girl that is deeply flawed.
A girl who still makes mistakes.
I am wondering, am I alone? Surely I’m not. Because at the present time I need some peeps to join me. I need some women who are deeply flawed to boldly stand with me.
Will you? Will you be fiercely His with me?
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